Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Creative Writing Final Reflection

1.) Some of my favorite peices of writing that we did in this class included the This Is poem. I wrote about my Uncle, which was actually kind of hard for me to do. It brought me a little bit of closure, considering he is my only realitive to ever pass away. Writing about him broke emotional barriers for me.
On the flipside, a more serious note, I also really liked writing the childrens story. I wrote a story called Alice the Camel, and it was long and drawn out, and gave me a small sliver of hope that maybe one day I could write children's stories. I probably never would, but I enjoyed writing it and felt mildly proud of the silly story.
The first peice of writing that Mrs. Fraser required for us to be at least 750 words or more was for Halloween and was a horror story. I enjoyed writing this one because of the fat that it was longer and because of such it had more of a plot. I wrote about a French brothel in which a woman gets brutally murdered. I liked (sounding as least morbid as possible) letting a darker side of me write such nighmares. There was something neat about being the creator of that.
But blog posts were not the only writings we did in here. We had to comment on others peices sometimes, and my favorite comments were between my friend Trevor and I on our friend Jordans blog. It was something about his Halloween peice as well, which was about a serial killer guy who killed his wife. Trevor talked about how the guy in the story was such a great guy. Where I replied that, 'he seemed like a really great guy as well, and that i have a crush on him.' and trevor replied, 'yeah, well you better get in line. I bet the ladies are lining up for a winner like that.' And I simply stated, "make way for the queen." And that was the day we got little done and laughed for a very long time about that comment.
Another peice of writing I really enjoyed, for obvious reasons, was our writing as a gift post. And it wasn't mine I enjoyed but Desiree's instead. She wrote a letter to me declaring her love and talked about friendship since 5th grade. It was very moving to me because my family didn't really celebrate Christmas this year and I was really lonely and depressed. I opened up the letter and read it and it made me really happy. It's also more or less kind of rare to get Desiree to show all that emotion. So it meant a lot more to me than I would be able to admit.
2.)A couple of peices that I have read this semester really stuck with me. One of them was by my amazing teacher, Mrs. Fraser. I don't really know why I liked it so much, or why it stuck with me, but the writing was for the picture that inspired us. I kept thinking about the lines, "I didn't know/ if his favorite color /was red or blue/ if he liked/ Italian or Chinese."
Another peice of writing I read this semester was my friend Trevors. It was his Halloween peice entitled: The Yellow Submarine. It was about a guy who stalked a girl and kidnapped her and forced her to live in a submarine with him for a long time until he eventually killed him.
Another peice of writing we read as a class was entitled:Dream Marks On My Pillow by Ana Lancu. I really liked learning about the dream section in our class. It was interesting and really did bring some interesting things to write about.
3.)Setting up my blog was quite the experience. The reason being was because in middle school (dark times) I had a cliche thing where I thought I could write really well, and poety, and angsty music. So I had actually already set up a blogger account in 7th grade with me just venting about silly drama between friends. It was really dumb and anything involving middle school years, i try to avoid. But after trying to nervously delete my old middle school blog, I made my current blog for this class without hassle. I found it to be reather simple because I go on a website called Tumblr more often than I probably should. Tumblr is a blog site, but not like what you would think. So I was used to editing html and changing my theme, and gifs, and whatnot. As far as the really stupid name for my blog; eggplantpotato is also my url for my tumblr blog. Because tumblr is very popular and all the good urls are already taken, sadly. I may or may not continue using the blog. Probably if I need someone to talk to and I need to vent. Or sometimes I'll write just to write. So that may happen. It just depends. The future holds the answer.
4.) We wrote a lot in our journal. In fact, I was afraid that I wouldn't have enough room in my journal for this entire class. I probably won't continue journaling in that journal, but maybe in my own journal at home. I only write in it if things are pretty bad. But I will probably write about my feelings and emotions and opinions. Normal journal things. I wouldn't really want anyone to read it unless I died.
5.) "If I'd known who he really was, I wouldn't have fallen in love. If I'd known who he really was, I wouldn't have tried so hard. If I would have known who he really was I wouldn't have considered his father, my father. Or his brother, my brother. And I wouldn;t have bought a puppy with him or gathered apartment items with him or cried as much as I did for three whole years. I wouldn't have gone to Disney or Arkansas or any of the other adventures I also fell in love with. If I'd have known who he really was, I would have listened to my friends and ended it all. But I didn't."
6.) Section from a notable peice: Famous Lines Peice
The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new. It was like no matter what happened in the world, the sun did not seem to care. I'm not Brad Pitt or Will Smith and this was definitely no Hollywood film, so I'm not sure why I expected it to be gloomy and rainy and to look like the world was ending. I believe it's because that is how I feel inside. Even though physically, all is good in the world, my world, today, has ended. But I'm also torn. Today my world has just begun, but is incomplete. The nurses walked by with looks of sorrow and pain on their face when they saw me. Whispers were flying as I sat there, waiting for the baby, the child, MY child to be weighed and taken care of. Tears were flying and I, a madman all alone in this world, did not know how to keep composure or stay together because I have never felt so incomplete in my whole life. As I heard another nurse come by, anxiously out of habit, i looked, stared into their eyes, trying to discover hope. Trying to finally have someone turn into a giraffe and everything just be a big silly dream that i wake up from. I'll wake up, at about 6:45 AM, to my beautiful pregnant wife, hold her, and everything will be okay. But my dreaming was woken up but the harsh sound of a crying reality. Literally, down the hall, comes a younger nurse, carrying the only light of hope in my world. Kicking, crying and screaming was a little 6 pound 8 ounce red child,. I looked, first, into the nurses eyes, he shook his head, as all the other nurses seemed to do. Confronting me though, speaking words like, "I'm so sorry, but she didn't make it. We will need to speak about legal matters...lawyers...attorneys..." and it all became a blur as i lost it yet again. Tear streaming down my cheeks, identical to my child, my son. There we were, both crying alone in this hospital, for the loss of a beautiful mother and the most amazing woman I had ever come to meet in my life. My other half, and more importantly, this little child's other half; missing. But yet, there we both were, mourning together, crying for the love we won't have anymore, the tenderness and adoration. It was a fine cry- loud and long- but it had no bottom and it had no top, just circles and circles of sorrow.
7.)I plan to do mroe creative writing sometime in the future. It seems like something I will do when I'm married and have children and need an escape. Something I will ditch for like 10+ years and then come back to and re fall in love with. But I like the way creative writing just lets me get things out. It feels good to just sit down and sort out the things in your mind, and dream things up, and let it all flow on to paper. It doesn't need to make sense, but it gets to come out and just spil everywhere. And I like that. Its different than writing a biography and a guy who died multiple hundreds of years ago. Its different than an English honors class and BS-ing five paragraph essays the night before it's due date. Its writing for yourself and Thats what I like about it.

8.) And to my fellow writers that have been with me this quarter, Thanks. Thanks for putting up with my tired morning, and really bad puns. Thanks for putting up with me drooling over every shirtless boy in a magazine and coming to school just to complain about school and finished my work for College Sats in that hour. I grew pretty close to you guys and we can all agree that creative writing was the best class ever and I'm happy I got to do it senior year with some really great people. Crying about band together in first block, what else could possibly describe friendship better?! In general, you guys are amazing people. I've learned many thing about you guys and wish I could have the pleasure of seeing you more. I will miss you guys after I graduate this year. The happy parts of highschool and I will think of this class and the people in it, making it really amazing. So thank you. time a million. Good Luck staying alive after this class by the way. I will suffer too, don't worry.
9.) ok.







Friday, January 3, 2014

Blue (Inspired)

The gift was not what I expected. It was a picture of him. In uniform, with a witty smile covering his face and sunshine spilling over his body, tanned from the yard work. He was wearing a blue shirt, faded. Either from sweat and hard work or maybe because i was gone that weekend and we all knew that he couldn't do laundry to save his life.
save his life.
The one thing that beautiful smile couldn't do.There was nothing we could do. Nothing anyone could do. The hummer blew up and he just happened to be there. Ryan. My Ryan. With pearly teeth, and faded blue tee's. Pushing back teas, I gave my friend, Rachel, the look of a lifetime, no thanks needed. I took a heavy sigh and grabbed the next presents. Baby blue ribbons filled inside with rattles, blakets and diapers. The gifts a single mom expected.

Declaration Of Intention

Declaration of Intention: This year I will love myself. I will let go of insecurities and embrace those who love me unconditionally. I will honor my promises and love my friends and family. I will stand up and share my food with others. :)

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

12/2

12 specific goals
  1. I want to go to disney world with Clayton & Matt Smith
  2. I want to go to Paris with Clayton and Ally Girton
  3. I want to go to Crete with Desiree and Danes Dad
  4. I want to go to London with Desiree and Jackson
  5. I want to go to Maine with Clayton and my cousin Amy
  6. I want to go to the Bahamas with Clayton and Brendon Urie
  7. I want to go to Fiji with Clayton and Brendon Urie
  8. I want to go to Alaska with my grandpa and Grandma
  9. I want to go to a different universe/galexy with David Tennant and Desiree
  10. I want to go to Ireland with Clayton and Johnny Depp
  11. I want to go get pedicures with Audrey Hepburn and Cher
  12. I want to go to Heaven with Jesus and God :)
12 best 2 liners from songs (my opinion)
  1. If all our lives are but a dream, fanstatic posing greed/ then we should feed our jewelry to the sea. (Northern Downpour; Panic! At The Disco)
  2. They say the captain goes down with the ship/ so when the world ends, will God go down with it? (Fall Out Boy; What a Catch, Donnie)
  3. Theres no turning around, I got my hands in my pockets and my head in the clouds (Boys Like Girls; Hero/heroine)
  4. Are we human? Or are we dancers? (Human; The Killers)
  5. Let me go home. Home is where ever Im with you. (Home; Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros)
  6. Im gonna pick up the peices and build a lego house/ if things wrong we can knock it down. (Lego House; Ed Sheeran)
  7. Every new beggining/ comes from some other begginings end. (Semisonic; Closing Time)
  8. Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea. All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see, dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind. (Dust In the Wind/ Kansas)
  9. I used to rely on self-medication,
    I guess I still do that from time to time.
    But I'm getting better at fighting the future,-Everything is Alright, Motion City Soundtrack
  10. They say Im up and coming like I'm F*cking in an elevator- Ed Sheeran, You need me, I don't need you
  11. This is gospel, for the fallen ones, ne'er do wells, and sufferable bastards. -Panic! At The Disco, This is Gospel
  12. Sex sells, and your sex cells make all the lost boys drool. You're a dime but they'll have to wait in line until one of them, makes it two of you. Count em one, two three- The Maine

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

About a Boy (Inspired)

"It happens, and I wish it didn't, but that's life, isn't it?"

There's nothing more true than this quote. As i grow each day, i only find it to become more and more relevant. Wether it be awful and obvious, like periods, or bad breakups. They happen. And the hard part is learning to nod your head and find a good soundtrack to go along with it all. It kind of goes hand in hand with that one saying, "everything happens for a reason". Assuming you believe in that sort of thing. It's hard to believe some things do happen for a reason. Especially in highschool. One lousy person can get into an arguement with you and it can feel like the end of the freaking world! Or how one boy who says that 'L' word can make you do crazy things, go against previous beliefs, and make you feel more special than anyone ever has in your whole life. But God forbid, the minute they don't think it will work out, your heart breaks, and the world crumbles down. Suddenly you'd rather not live without these people; friends, lovers, aquaintances and cliques. That's another part of growing up you have to learn to live with, although sometimes, you may prefer not to. People are awful. God awful, in fact. Not necissarily everyone. But a LOT of people, at one time or another. As a waitress, people don't always know that i get paid $3 an hour. So they don't choose to leave a tip all the time. I wish it didn't happen, but that's life. I could get up and throw a cup of pepsi (not Coke) in their fat, over filled obese faces; but i choose not to. It's hard. And i really wish i could sometimes.
Sometimes, life just sucks, and it's really hard to get past. If you are a hormonal teenage female such as myself, you could get through life with McDonalds $1 cheeseburgers, chocolate ice cream, Reeses, pringles, and coffee. But sometimes, crying is just the best remedy. Trust me. I cry a LOT. I cry at everything. Sometimes I don't need to. You could say we need to have a serious talk and before you utter two words, i could already scared myself into tears. It happens, i'll admit. But have you ever just had the worst in the world, and stayed strong for a really long time. Faking smiles, and hugs, and "yeah, im fine"s, then finally gotten home, shut the door, and just cried? It feels therapedic sometimes. Just to let it all out. Or maybe you can deal with it by watching an entire series in one night, and replacing old feels with new feels for a TV show. All of these are options. Not always the best, but that's how i deal with things. You can wish and wish and wish that they didn't happen, but they do. and thats a fact. Wether some of us want to admit to it or not. It's a huge part of growing up, that you just have to suck up and plow through everyday.


If there's one thing to make me smile...

The brisk December air
biting my fingers and nose
blowing and whipping my hair
as we both wish for more clothes
Holding our bodies, not ours
but each others
giving us adrenaline
like a special power
coursing through our veins
for a minute, eliminating
those hazel eyes of pain
replaced by longing and lust
in eachothers arms, held together
by the trust
and its all so heated,
we become a flame, and we both
wish this would never end
because it really would be a
shame.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Food+ Memories

I have learned as I am growing up that aduts, or, well, people in general have a habit or remembering certain things about people. Ideas, actions, words that stand out to them, often repetitive. I believe that as I am growing older, I am doing that as well. Especially with my grandparents. Which I really wish I wasn't. Because I wish I could remember everything about them forever, and let my great grandchildren experience my grandparents, because they mean so much to me. But you, as well as I know that people don't last forever, n matter how much we wish they could. 'They will live on through memory', people often say at funerals and on headstones. But which memories will stand out?
My grandma is currently 86. "Its awful to get old, Carissa. Don't ever get old." She'll tell me, followed by some chore or complaining about something wrong with her. One of the problems she complains about alot is that she cannot taste anything anymore. So she drinks Mt. Dew Livewire. A drink probably mroe intended for kids looking for an energy rush, but i swear that this is the only drink she drinks other than water with her pills at night. I think this carbonated orange drink is what actually keeps my grandma pumping. And my grandfather, unique as well, he has hisown little traits and quirks. Such as buying a bulk of literally everything in the house. Come to my house at any given moment and I swear we will not be out of Mt. Dew. We haven't ran out since 2004, or at least when the soda came out. So feel free to come have some.
Another food item that reminds me of my grandparents would be peanut butter and pickle sanwhiches. It's really disgusting, don't ever try it. They usually have it with their soda too. And it is made with breaad